God is not invited.
Saul is my second son. My first - now 3, was baptised into the Catholic faith to my chagrin. I agreed to this for a number of reasons, the main one being that my father in law, who had only recently lost his wife of forty years, was deeply religious and would have been incredibly distressed had we chosen not to. In fact the first question he asked me after Finn’s birth was - would we like him to book the church he himself had married in?
It was hard to say no.
This time round though, I’m better prepared - and I’m so excited! The father of an old friend is a humanist minister. Humanism encourages open-minded enquiry into matters relevant to human co-existence and well-being. Humanists are committed to the application of reason and science, to the understanding of the universe and to the solving of human problems so that quality of life can be improved for everyone.
I wanted to celebrate the birth of our son, and declare our commitment to giving him love and support in front of friends and family. I didn’t want to have to endorse a religion I abhor to do so. Humanists the world over have evolved non-religious ceremonies to mark the rites of passage through life; The Humanist Association of Ireland recommend accredited officiants to help perform them. I helped plan a humanist ceremony a few years ago, and it was one of the most sincere, heartfelt and joyous ceremonies I have ever been to. (And as a former wedding planner - I’ve been to quite a few)
There’s a rambling hotel about 20 minutes away with a nice garden, and hopefully I can persuade my brother and my dad to play some music. Kit and Tommy will be ‘Guide Parents’ instead of God Parents, and everyone will wear their sunday best and kids will play hide and seek under tables while the great grandmother snoozes in the corner. A humanist minister will help us mark the day, with words of hope and happiness. And if anyone queries why we’re not in a church, with a sexually frustrated septuagenarian in a dog collar dispensing edible paper discs with trembling hands that smell of mothballs and incense, I will hand them copies of both the Ryan and Murphy reports and tell them to ask me again after they have read both.
